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November 2004
Thinking About Dad & Mom &
Veterans…
Your success and happiness
lie in you....Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an
invincible host against difficulties.
-
Helen Keller
Veterans Day is
this week. Walking this morning I
thought about my father, the veteran and how that influenced my own life. Mother was changed by my father’s WWII
service. She remained behind in the
loving community of friends and family while Dad, already the father of three
young children, went off to the adventure of war.
Many of my Uncles
(and Aunts) did not serve and went through those years relatively untouched by
things beyond their small, insular community.
My parents were challenged in many ways and the reward for battling the
obstacles was a greater, more global world view. Even more important, I believe they also
developed a stronger faith in God – Many people pray that God will intervene
and make some dream come true. I believe
my parents understood that God has already provided for us and continues to meet our needs, so rather than pray for things,
hey expressed gratitude for the many blessings they have already received.
My mother ran the
household while my father was in
My father realized
how difficult I is to be the one left behind.
Though he was far from home, he was stimulated by all the new things he
was learning, the people he was meeting and the places he was visiting. From the start of his military career, he
wrote to my mother three letters each day.
In this way, he hoped that Mother would receive a letter each day, even
if the postal service or the US Army misplaced one or two letters now and
then.
Father’s letters
were filled with amazing details from the type of birds flying overhead to the
kinds of crops growing in the fields outside the windows of the train that
whisked him off to war. He detailed the
training methods and his opinions on how to motivate soldiers. He wrote about his personal beliefs and
outlined his philosophy for raising the children. There were affirmations of love and silly poems
and notes directed to each of the children.
Years later when I
was a young mother with a soldier (airman) husband serving on a remote island
at the end of the
My father and
mother set high standards for themselves and expected much from one
another. On occasion they disagreed on
matters and unlike people who yell and scream and call one another names; they
internalized their anger and frustrations.
Even from a war zone, thousands of miles away, my father would try to
advise my mother on how to handle matters at home and many times he would be
unhappy with the way she chose to resolve a problem. Mother, in his absence, could make choices
about how to live and these choices may have felt liberating.
They managed to
surmount the challenges of these years of independence and uncertainty.
Years later when I
too became a member of the military, I was able to better understand what my
father had been through. I am grateful I
took that step and can now say that I am a veteran too.
I wonder what
Mother and Father would say about our impending Peace Corps adventure?
Some Things I have Done Because of my
Military Career
A Ramble on Grandchildren and Trees…
The habit of being happy
enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from domination of outside
conditions.
-
Robert Louis Stevenson
Having
grandchildren under our roof for an unexpected, extended visit has been a
delight. It has also been a reminder of
what hard work it is to be good parents.
I find myself wondering how my own children and I survived our on-the-job
training in the art of parenting! It is
rather amazing that everyday, everywhere, people go through the same acts of
nurturing and mentoring as they watch children grow and master the tasks that
make up our daily lives.
When my husband
and I visited my brother in his remote village atop a mountain in Malawi
Africa, we walked with a revered tribal headman who advised us that “…young men
plant children, old men plant trees.” I
often think about his words. In many
ways, he meant it literally. We have
children when we are young and as we age, we often turn to nurturing plants and
trees. I am struck by how similar these
tasks are. I am also in awe that we are
trusted with raising children when we ourselves are young and inexperienced. One of the things one learns from gardening
and child rearing is how fragile plants and children are. There are so many opportunities to go wrong,
despite our well intentioned efforts. I
am equally amazed at how resilient plants and children are.
Test the soil
before planting. It is the soil that
helps plants thrive.
It may need additives to balance it and make it the rich earth where a
plant can put down roots and be nurtured.
Pull weeds
regularly. Take time to remove stray
plants that may choke out the young seedling.
Apply mulch – a
little sh** goes a long ways!
Deadhead or prune
as needed. Pinch off those growths that
take away from the plant.
Nurture plants
with regular watering
Enjoy the plants –
take pleasure in their daily growth.
They are meant to be enjoyed – show some enthusiasm!
Share them with
others.
Shower plants with
water.
Planting is an act
of faith. Though we water each day,
there is no guarantee that a seedling will thrive and become a mighty oak. There is no guarantee that we will even see
it when it reaches it