I am not discouraged, because
every wrong attempt discarded
is another step forward.
- Thomas Edison
The wall of windows here on the 8th floor provides a
panoramic view of the area. The wind
gusts, trees bow down, leaves rustle and the sky is a steely blue-grey. We just made it home in time to enjoy the
impending thunder storm from the comfort of our hotel room.
The sky was grey when we set out this morning so Mark brought
along the tall red umbrella we purchased from a street vendor last week when we
were caught in a sudden downpour. As we
walked along, the sky got clearer and brighter and soon it was a beautiful,
sunny, spring day.
We spend the morning browsing through the treasures at the flea
market and then strolled farther afield and discovered a couple retail stores
we enjoy: Crate and Barrel, The Container Store, Barnes & Noble, and
Pottery Barn are all within walking distance of the hotel. I purchase a couple colorful napkins and some
small gifts. Mark finds a computer store
and indulges in a few techno-geek purchases.
We stop at a local coffee shop and enjoy feeding cookie crumbs to
small birds while we linger over lattes.
Dog owners are out in force. I
take the opportunity to pet as many dogs as I can. Of course I must first make small talk with
the owners, but it is clear my real motive is the tactile pleasure of animal
fur and sloppy puppy kisses. Most owners
indulge people like me.
I miss Mss Zoë and Mr. Bubba.
There are motorcycles everywhere today since it is Memorial Day
weekend and the annual Rolling Thunder rally is gearing up. Tomorrow we will head to the mall and visit
the Vietnam Memorial. The motorcycle
riders will be there at
The magic umbrella seems to fend off the storm and the sunshine is
bright until we head back to the hotel.
The wind picks up as we cross the pedestrian bridge and it appears there
will be some rain following all this wind.
I open the windows in our room to hear the rain and smell that sweet,
sweet smell.
Our evening agenda is yet to be outlined. If the weather cooperates, I may put on my
dress (the one I purchased last year to wear to my Peace Corps induction
ceremony) and then walk over to a local club to listen to music.
When we do the best we can,
we never know what miracle is
wrought in our life,
or in the life of another.
- Helen Keller
A Pajama Day for me…
I
awakened to bright sunlight pouring across the bed. Like a cat, I stretched a bit, then rolled
over to sleep a bit longer. The NPR
station pours out news and local driving conditions as I nap and intermittently
open my eyes.
I
spend part of the day reading the paper and doing some research on Memorial Day
weekend plans.
At
Tonight
we will have an all American favorite: pancakes.
Touring National Public Radio’s
Headquarters in DC…
I
keep running into people who speak Russian or are from
As
Mark and I left the hotel, we met with another PCV just outside the front
door. We chatted a few moments and ended
up comparing notes on medical facilities in our respective host countries. I described my adventures in medicine in
In
a matter of moments we were in an animated conversation with this group of
Ukrainian law enforcement professionals who are touring several cities here in
the
Today
we toured National Public Radio (NPR) offices at
One
of the other tourists is actually a new staff member: the head librarian. There are two interns along for the tour
too. We listen to details about NPR
management, equipment, goals and funding as we wander through studios and soak
up the ambience. There are about 500
employees in this huge organization. The
organization makes wonderful use of technology.
NPR
provides the soundtrack for my life. I
usually wake to Morning Edition and tune in throughout the day to hear various
programs. My book choices and music
selections are shaped by recommendations by NPR folks. Many days our mealtime conversation involves
excerpts from stories we have heard on NPR.
Not
only are we enthusiastic listeners, we also have volunteered to man phone lines
during fundraising season at various NPR stations around the nation. We have amusing stories to share about
studios in
The
tour was pleasant, but I was distracted by the onset of what appears to be
either a bad cold or a severe allergy.
My left eye is scratchy and tearing.
I cannot relax and follow the tour because I keep sneezing and blowing
my nose.
Following
the tour, and despite my sneezing and nose-blowing, we stop for lunch at a
Spanish restaurant which features delightful tapas for lunch. The restaurant is in
Enroute
home, we stop at the medical facility where I must meet again with the plastic
surgeon regarding my decisions for upcoming surgery. To my surprise, I ended up posing for several
pre-surgery photos of my upper body.
These will be in my file as the “before” shots. I continue to wheeze and sneeze and sniffle
like a young child.
We
arrive home and I ensconce myself on the couch with a box of tissue clutched in
my hands for the remainder of the day.
In fact, I waken around
I
spend a few moments admiring the waning full moon outside and finally break
down and take an antihistamine before I slide between the sheets to continue
sleeping off this cold or allergy.
Ukraine Group 28
Inducted Today!
The only way to live is to
accept each minute as an
unrepeatable miracle.
- Margaret Storm Jameson
Far, far away on a beautiful spring day in
I am happy for them, but I really did want to be part of that very
special, meaningful ceremony. I do not
let myself become sad or bitter about this.
In my e-mail I read an article about the ceremony (see below). The ambassador attends and brass bands
play. This is quite a celebration and a
wonderful occasion. The trainees worked
hard to earn this moment and Peace Corps does a good job of recognizing
them.
Later this week there will probably be photos and more extensive
articles...
Today we just relax, catch up on computer projects and paperwork, and
discuss our future plans. Next week I will have the surgery and hopefully
will begin the 4-6 weeks of recovery. Sooo, my "spring
break" will morph into summer....
______________________________________________________
TO
Peace Corps
UNIAN,
KYIV - On
at the historic Ukrainian Teacher's
House, 57 Volodymyrska Street in Kyiv at which U.S. Ambassador John Herbst will
administer the oath of service to
forty new Volunteers.
The new Volunteers will solemnly promise
to promote Peace Corps' principles
of respect and friendship across
national and cultural boundaries as they
serve in institutions across the
country.
Peace Corps Ukraine is the largest Peace
Corps Country Program of more than seventy Country Programs worldwide. Media
wishing to receive accreditation are requested to call (044) 247-6840, contact
person: Valentyna Pyrozhko.
Peace Corps was established in
The new group of Volunteers will be
working in the framework of two
projects - Youth Development and
Economic Development. 23 Volunteers
to be sworn in under the Youth
Development Project will teach youth between the ages of 12 and 18 civic
responsibility, healthy lifestyles, leadership, computers and Internet
technology, basic business skills, and good environmental practices. They will
work in rural and economically
disadvantaged areas in 9 oblasts of
17 Economic Development Volunteers will
work in local universities, NGOs,
and municipalities teaching management
skills and economics, facilitating
community development, strengthening
participation in civil society by
teaching critical thinking, strategic
planning, leadership, project design
and implementation, gender education,
and other subjects.
Over the past thirteen years Peace Corps
Volunteers in
worked alongside and otherwise impacted
more than one million Ukrainians. At present 298 Peace Corps Volunteers are
working in more than 160 Ukrainian villages, towns and cities in 24 oblasts and
the Autonomous Republic of Crimea.
The ceremony will feature speeches by
U.S. Ambassador Herbst and
dignitaries from the Ukrainian National
and Regional Governments, including
representatives of the Ministry of
Economy and European Integration, the
Ministry of Education and Science, and
the Ministry for Youth and Sports.
Peace Corps is funded by American taxpayers.
The organization promotes peace and
friendship among peoples of different
nationalities and cultures. During over
four decades, Peace Corps has worked
in more than 120 countries. In Ukraine
Peace Corps sponsors three main
program activities: Teaching English as
a Foreign Language, Economic
Development, and Youth
Development. -30-
The Plastic Surgeon…
I
could acquire a very nice set of breasts!
I
am a good candidate for implants. This
could be fun, but the logical part of me rules this decision out: implants can
be pretty high maintenance, so I elect for another reconstruction technique.
The
whole discussion seems surreal as we consider the other options. I do not have much fat on my body. Fat is necessary to build a breast. So much for the advantage of being slender
and fit!
This
conversation just seems strange. I just
want to get this business over and move on with my life.
Mark arrives
Mark
arrives today and my heart is light.
I
have missed his calm presence. With him
by my side I can relax and put down my guard a bit. It takes so much energy to manage my life
alone during all the recent medical adventures.
Mark pampers me.
He
arrives with heavy bags, filled with surprises, including several gifts from my
friends in
With
Mark here, this apartment feels more like home.
Some time to breathe
I
sleep in a bit today. My roommate and I
spend a lazy day with the TV and the computer.
Late in the day I make a short trip to Pentagon City Mall and then
return home with my purchases. I am too
restless to accomplish anything – the anticipation of Mark’s arrival tomorrow keeps
me stirred up.
Flower power…
A
beautiful bouquet arrived at my door this morning. One of my favorite delights is to receive
flowers. The surprise was even more
delightful because the beautiful flowers are a gift from a very dear
friend. I smile and smile and
smile. Fresh flowers make a house a
home. (Thank you Marty!)
Sister-in-law
Kris arrives early and we set off on the Metro to the eclectic Adams Morgan
neighborhood on this bright Spring Saturday.
We spent a leisurely day strolling along and talking as we stopped at
several yard sales. We also enjoyed
perusing the arts and crafts at a local show.
I made several bulky purchases (books) and found a bright red and black
scarf I had to own (a fifty cent investment!).
I was also given a pair of coffee mugs.
Kris found some lovely earrings.
We
had a leisurely late lunch at an outdoor Thai restaurant. Most of the local restaurants are closed
because the water main is broken. Restaurants
cannot allow patrons inside due to health regulations so those with outdoor
seating are doing big business.
Later
in the day we strolled over to the
After a long day and with tired, aching feet,
we opted for a lazy evening on the couch in front of the TV with an extra large
pizza to dine on. Kris flies home at
As we
express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is
not to utter words, but to live by them.
-John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Mark swears in as PCV - “first in his
class”…
In
Ukraine Mark is at the American Embassy for his private swearing in
ceremony. I am so grateful this ceremony
is taking place. Earlier in the week it
looked like he would be rushed here on an airplane to be at my side for my
surgery. Our training Group 28 is
scheduled to swear in on Wednesday.
I
was beside myself that Mark would come so close to swearing in and then be
denied the honor and privilege that he earned for all his hard work. My heart is lightened by the news that he
will, indeed, be a Peace Corps Volunteer.
And, he will be “first” in his class!
8-)
The
big news though is this: Mark will arrive here in DC on Monday afternoon!
I
spend some time with my PC nurse this morning. We visit and enjoy a less stressful time
together. Earlier in the week we seemed
to clash heads a bit – the stress level is lower and despite the sad
destination this path is going, I can enjoy the scenery and find some joy in
new options.
When
Kris and I leave the PC building rain pummels us. We are drenched when we finally make it to
the Metro stop. The temperature
drops. We arrive at the
This
museum is amazing. We spend a long time
in the gift shop as we wait for our time slot in the actual museum. The shop has many wonderful educational
materials, books and inspirational materials.
I
engage in conversation with several students who, upon discovering I am a Peace
Corps Trainee, pepper me with questions.
They bring over several friends who say they dream of being a PCV
someday.
The
museum is designed to be very effective.
When I left, rather than depressed or disturbed, I found myself grateful
and in awe of how resilient and strong the human spirit is. The survivors are amazing individuals who
despite the odds, lived to share the story of the heinous crimes and atrocities
committed during the Nazi regime.
There are two ways
to live.
You can live as if
nothing is a miracle
or you can live as
if everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
An early morning phone call and the sun
shines in my heart…
Since
the visit to the oncologist on Tuesday I have felt like I am caught in a
tsunami. I have been trying to remain
calm and rationale, but every plan or decision that is outlined seems to be
rescinded or morphed into something entirely different. The past few days have been very stressful.
I
was relieved to hear from Mark and know that he will swear in. His early morning call lightened my heart and
helped me cope with the ambiguity of everything else.
My
sister-in-law Kris arrived today and accompanied me on my visit to Dr. E’s
office to discuss the nature of the upcoming surgery. Kris takes detailed notes and introduces a
few questions to consider while I simply try to absorb all the facts and keep
my wits about me. We manage to laugh
despite the serious nature of the discussion.
Dr. E will coordinate with the plastic surgeon to schedule my surgery
for next week.
Kris
and I elect to walk back to the hotel from Dr. E’s office on the other side of
I
ride the shuttle van to Peace Corps office today. At
Eventually
we come to terms, but not before I find myself snapping a bit – “I need a
hug! You are a health professional – you
ought to know when a person needs a hug!”
I
got a hug and a laugh too. I also got
some telephone time with Mark.
I
shared my sad news with him. I also
encouraged him to take a stand for me – I want him to be sworn in. He has completed all the requirements and if
they fly him home this weekend he will miss this significant event. He deserves the recognition and the moment to
celebrate the achievement.
Mark
talks to me about local polices and some of the options we may have. Our future is definitely in limbo. It is hard to stay calm.
We
could both be unemployed in just a matter of days.
I
cling to faith…I find things to be grateful for.
Surgery
is postponed, Mark will fly in, we will somehow move forward…
Just as you can choose between possible futures, you can choose between possible pasts. Your past is not a fixed reality; it is what you choose by focus and interpretation. Interpret your past through the eyes of appreciation, and it will become only a blessing. - Alan Cohen
The other shoe drops – the pathology
report…
The
oncologist’s office is across town in a beautiful part of the city where
everything is green and fresh. I am
reminded of the Chestnut Hill area in
Somehow
I have no idea there will be bad news as I walk into the office. Soon I learn that despite a second excisional
surgery, I still have abnormal cells in my breast. The next step, the best choice for me, is
mastectomy.
All
I can think about is my dying dream – it is becoming clear to me I will
probably never get to swear-in as a Peace Corps volunteer now. I try to focus on the medical issues, but I
spill out my story to the good doctor.
She understands. I am grateful to
have someone who will listen.
All
I can think of is completing the surgery as quickly as possible so perhaps I
can actually return to
By
the time my
The
cab pulls up; I slide across the seat, almost in tears and regretting that I
will be trapped in this vehicle for at least 40 minutes. I am ready to be alone. I want to cry and pound my pillow and vent
all the anger and fear inside me. I need
to purge myself so I can move forward with some race.
Caught
up in my own world, I barely realize my driver has spoken to me in
Russian. I do a double take and respond
with a suitable Russian greeting and give him a puzzled look. He shoots back another Russian phrase and I spill
out another polite Russian phrase. I laugh
as I look at the black man driving my cab and ask him how he comes to speak
Russian.
My
angel cab-driver tells me a tale of being a young man in
I
managed to stay composed and engaged and weathered the ride with my dignity
intact.
Thursday
– surgery…
·
Grateful
living: an alchemic operation of
converting
"disgraceful" things into grateful events.
-
Raimundo Panikkar
I do find much to be grateful for, but
sometimes my initial response is not so gracious. Today I had a battle with fears. It is better to find something proactive
rather than to give in to the fears that sometimes abduct me and drain my
energy and kill my hopes.
This bump in the road is just that, a small
bump, not a change of course. After my
initial meeting with the nurse today, I was all focused on fear related
issues. I found myself caught up in the
idea that in just a few weeks we would both be back in our house in SC,
un-employed and I would be receiving radiation treatments and trying to find a
new dream to believe in as well as a way to make a living. My dreams and my future seemed to be slam
dunked following that short hour in the nurse’s office.
I spent a difficult afternoon walking
around the city pondering the direction to follow…I fought back tears. The medical situation is not on my mind; it
is our future, our dreams, our life. We
have wanted this PCV experience and to have it cut short so abruptly devastates
me.
When I returned to the medivac lounge I met
other volunteers who allowed me to share my fears. They were able to quickly provide me with
several strategies and options that I would never have garnered from anyone in
an official capacity. I left the office
feeling optimistic and with new hope that we can make this future in
Perspective is amazing.
Once again, I found the phone to be a
wonderful tool for venting my anxiety and fears as I spoke to friends and
family and turned the vents of the day into humorous incidents.
I want to serve in
I have never been concerned about medical
matters. My background as a Christian
Scientist has distanced me from these concerns.
I completed a dynamic military career and did not have to deal with
medical issues and I find it odd that the PC hierarchy demands such compliance
with medical procedures. One would think
that an organization serving such diverse cultures would have a more liberal
view on what comprises proper care.
Amazing – the military seems more enlightened than the PC.
I accommodate other people (in this case
PC) by permitting them to dictate medical procedures as a part of my employment
contract. Now I am wondering if I should
have allowed myself to accept their medical model. That model, may cost them and me in many ways
that neither of us should have to deal with.
This situation reinforces my earlier
training. This medical model is not very
effective. It limits us to a mortal
concept of life rather than incorporating our true spiritual basis. This limitation costs us all in the long
run.
I am off on a tangent, but I feel grounded
and ready to deal with the next few days of this adventure.
·
Life is good, just kind of
confusing at times…
It seems to me that these seeming set-backs and
challenges are actually opportunities to find joy in our daily lives and
blessings. We get so busy sometimes and take things too seriously - we
should sing, dance, give praise and thanks for the abundance in our
lives.
This comes from
my heart - it is not mere rhetoric. I am glad I learned this lesson, or
at least studied it, in the past so I can cope more gracefully with the
challenges I have faced in more recent years. Of course others also face
challenges and that should make a stronger bond between those individuals
shouldn't it. Life IS good. 8-)
I got a note from the nurse practitioner at
PC back in Ukraine... need to know estrogen receptor
sensitivity, have a bone scan, liver scan and studies and chest x
ray, probably you have done all that….sounds like I may be in for quite a
barrage of tests here in DC before I can think about going anywhere...of course
they may not recommend all this stuff...I guess I will know when I know... I
may be camped here a while. Well, I did
not face war during my AF career, but I guess this may be my version...just
picking my way through this mental-mine-field.
I read a funny e-mail in the unofficial PC news
group. It was about how song lyrics pop
up to guide you through things sometimes.
(I will extract, with permission, some of her note below) Keep reading to get to her note, but a few of
my remarks first…
I plan to adopt/steal the group motto mentioned in
the note you are abut to read…it is so appropriate for me since I constantly
use the expression but always in English.
It takes on a bit of sophistication when stated I Latin!
My routine response to stuff almost always is
"It was fun..." as if fun is the actual purpose behind an
activity...for me it matters though. Life is made for singing, dancing,
giving thanks and in my opinion, if you can't find a way to make it an occasion
for joy, you are probably doing something wrong! 8-)
My son used to be a diehard Dr. Demento fan and we
are NPR/PBS folks so it is only natural that this popped to mind when the
writer below mentioned being a Fishhead...I'll think of her when I hear
this silly tune..
...Fish heads, fish heads,
Roly-poly fish heads,
Eat them up,
Yum...
(FYI: at my host family's home we eat fish soup
almost every morning - when you see that black tail hanging over the side of
the bowl when you walk into the kitchen you can say a little prayer of
gratitude - someone else got the head!)
Here’s the initial note (THANKS PAULA!) that got me rolling on this
topic:
*******************************************
Date: Sat,
For some
reason, song titles and verses always used to run through my head. For example:
"Someday
we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny. But NOW..." (from
Bruce Springsteen's "Rosalita".)
And:
"Momma
said there'd be days like this. There'd be days like this, my momma said."
And for some
reason, when I was riding through the
For annoying
HCNs, a friend of mine had a good one: "I'll be thinking of you when I'm
home driving my car." You have to think it, though. Definitely don't say
it. It's rude and the person you're most likely to think of it about would not
appreciate the sentiment. But it's a nice little thought and puts a smile on
your face, which generally puzzles whichever jerk is bugging you at that
moment.
Walking
through the
A verse from
David Alan Coe's "perfect Country&Western song", which had to
have something about Momma, trains, trucks, prison, rain and gettin' drunk to
be perfect, always worked really well when crossing through crowded taxi parks:
"I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison. And I went to pick her up
in the rain. But before I could get to the station in my pickup truck, she got
run over by a damned old train..."
And finally,
our fishhead training group's unofficial motto (the official one was
"Piscor
ergo sum"), spoken deadpan, was, "It was fun. I learned a lot."
Needless to
say, the above all indicates that a sense of humour is essential for
Peace
Corps--and being a little nuts doesn't hurt, either.
- Paula
************************************************************
PS: Oh yeah – the toilet is fixed and the toe
nails painted. 8-)
Piscor, ergo
sum.
<o)}}}><
(Actually I
think it really means: I fish, therefore I am…)
·
Fulfilled
life is possible in spite of unfulfilled wishes.
-
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
-
Good news - I got a call from Mark this morning -
just hearing his sweet voice is a tonic for me!
He uploaded more to his journal and included a
piece of experimental video which may or may not work well on your individual
computer, but have a look at it and do let him know how it plays so he can make
revisions on it and can figure out how to use future videos too. The video
is of our cluster group getting our assignments - as you probably know the
Pulver's are going to be living on the Black Sea on the tip of the
On another note, I FINALLY managed my
"dream trip" to Target and bought some tee-shirts and more nail
polish.
The Target Store is at the second-to-the-last
stop on the Red line so I had to hike to the local metro and then make a change
and then sit through about ten more stops then hike up a stalled escalator of
over 175-steps (yes I counted and I was breathing hard and passing less fit
people who may have needed CPR) and then walk a half-mile to the mall. (Later
I found out this escalator is the world’s 2nd longest and here I am
hiking it just a couple days after my 2nd surgery!) Good thing I had all that military
training! I refreshed by indulging myself with a caloric-ridden,
high caffeine, triple-latte grande at S-Bucks. What a splurge!
After some successful shopping, I realized my feet
were soooooo sore so I made and emergency stop at Payless and
bought a pair of tacky $10 red flip-flops so I could hobble home
again. While I was at the mall, the fire alarm went off and they had to
evacuate the place...pretty interesting experience actually.
Now I am "home" (at the hotel) and
found the toilet is grossly backed up...it is scary backed-up! Too much
information huh?!!! Too bad... I don’t want to report
it to the desk ‘cuz I will be embarrassed to have the plumber come up and have
to deal with this disgusting situation. Let me assure you I did NOT use
excessive amounts of TP, but I am sure they will have their own opinions
regardless of the truth. I am a delicate princess and do not cope
well with these mundane situations...One more challenge to deal with!
8-)
A thunderstorm has rolled in while I sat here typing…I
hear the rolling thunder and the sunny sky is not steely-grey. I opened my window to allow the sounds and
smells of the rain storm fill my room.
What a pleasure.
So much for my adventures for the day.
·
It IS Friday the 13th…
I guess it is all catching up with me. I seem to have a case of the intermittent
blues. I wish Mark were here to help me
put things in perspective, but he is not and cannot be.
My
emotional bank account is overdrawn I guess.
I woke
up feeling great actually. It is amazing
how resilient the human body and spirit are.
Aside from a little tenderness and aching I am unaware of the stitches
and swelling left by my multiple surgeries.
Just yesterday morning I was still unable to raise my arm above shoulder
level.
The
pharmacy called about the override required for my prescription. Apparently the paperwork I picked up at Peace
Corps and delivered is not adequate for their needs. The pharmacy has to order
the prescription so it requires a couple days to coordinate the whole thing – I
started the “project” on 5 May and still haven’t been able to complete the
transaction. I am not up to it
(emotionally) today.
This is
all compounded by the fact I have a different health coordinator now. As of Tuesday my old coordinator was no
longer assigned to me (she is leaving PC and embarking on a new life). My new coordinator is a bit more structured
and works on an appointment basis. I was
told she would be available on Thursday.
I left messages yesterday and e-mailed her a pleasant note giving her an
update on the plot twists that ensued following my Appointment Tuesday (the
unexpected diagnosis and surgery). I
also filled her in on my medical appointment schedule for next week. I am sure she will get back to me when she is
available.
There
is some residual frustration because when I came out of surgery Wednesday I did
not have a good point of contact at PC to confirm my travel arrangements for
the cab ride home from the hospital. I
sat in the wheel chair in recovery dialing various offices and speaking to
answering machines about my situation.
(Now I know everyone was at the Wednesday meeting!) Eventually someone responded and a PCV was
dispatched to ride with me in the cab so I could negotiate my way home to bed
safely.
Not
major inconveniences or dilemmas to be sure, but challenges none-the-less and
my resistance is low just now. I feel
like a whiny kid! 8-)
I have
lots of angel friends and just when I slumped emotionally the phone would ring
and a friend would bring me back up.
Thank goodness for friends.
·
A wasted day…
More sleeping and some time to myself to
heal and rest.
My goal today was to go to the market and
purchase some rocky road ice cream.
·
Surgery Number Two
My second surgery in less than a week.
Someone died in the operating room this
morning. I heard the animal sounds the
mother made when she learned of her son’s death.
My own surgery went well. I remained alert throughout most of it.
The anesthesia seemed to have a delayed
effect. When I arrived home (a PCV rode
with me in a cab to get me to the hotel) I just curled up on the couch munching
ginger snaps and watching Oprah.
·
An encore presentation in
surgery…
My window is open to the spring
breezes. The sheer curtains catch the
breeze and dance behind me and as I write I hear the sound of taps playing
somewhere in the darkness. I started my
day in this same chair enjoying the morning sun and my coffee and was rewarded
with the sounds of the Army band playing near the Iwo Jima Memorial.
It is
about
I thought
mostly of Mark as the surgeon detailed what my options are. I could have radiation treatment, but cancer
cells might still remain. Another option
is r-excision to remove more tissue and provide clear margins. Radiation treatments may or may not be
necessary following this surgery. The
advantage is the cells will be removed and it is less likely there will be
future problems. Of course the doctor
said “we were lucky we caught this early.”
·
Panda, pasta and playing…
Yesterday proved to be a delight. Cousin C is so much fun and she brought along
her neighbor and good friend to add o the fun too.
We visited the Eastern Market area and
found our way into a couple great vintage clothing stores where I was parted
with some money. My two traveling
companions encouraged me to splurge a bit on a beautiful poppy-red, slim skirt
that will be a wonderful work skirt back in
The clothes are a good cure for me – I have
been feeling pretty frumpy lately. This
getting older business takes a toll on people or at least on me. I am in this kind of in-between stage (not
young, but not old yet) where I find it tough to know how to dress and how to
adjust to the changes in my life – grey hair, trifocals, etc…
Who is that mature woman in the mirror and
why doesn’t she dress better and do something with that hair? (If I knew what to do with the hair and
makeup I would do it!) In
We had a nice dinner or a really late lunch
actually. It was a tapa restaurant and
turned out to be mostly Turkish food. It
was fun to be a bit adventurous so we had some delightful food and have no idea
what some of it really was!
We stayed up very late talking and sipping
wine then this morning we headed out to the zoo! One of my favorite places to while away some
time! Enroute, we dined at an outdoor
Italian trattoria. It was perfect
weather to be outdoors.
They flew back to the
I laughed so much in the last 24 hours!
Far
away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and
see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. -Louisa May Alcott
Here I
sit in a sun-filled 600-square foot suite in
This is
hardly how I imagined my Peace Corps adventure to be.
The
past few weeks have been almost surreal.
Before arriving here in DC, I spent several days at the Peace Corps
office in beautiful
Next I
am “forced” to spend several weeks in my own nation’s capital. I will be in
Things
will change when I am finally allowed to return to my husband and
While
here, I have also been blessed by many visits from friends and family. It has been delightful and though I may not
always be so gracious (I have been stressed and tired and a little bit afraid),
I am sincere when I say I am grateful for these wonderful people. People are what matters and my life is filled
with warm, caring individuals who have taught me how to live and how to find
joy and gratitude.
My
cousin will arrive soon. She works for a
major airline and one of the perks is travel opportunities. It will be a whirlwind visit since she will
depart tomorrow.
I have
many cousins that I know and love and have spent time with, but this cousin and
I, though very much alike, have not had chances to be together. With the introduction of e-mail to our lives,
we have become friends. Technology
affords us so many wonderful gifts.
The
plans are casual and loose. We will take
the metro to the flea market and talk as we examine treasures and bargain for
deals. Tomorrow I hope we will make our
way to the zoo. We are both great lovers
of animals.
I am
fine today; just a bit tender and achy, but invigorated by my anticipation for
the day.
It is
Mother’s Day…my first without my own mother.
I miss her.
I am
blessed with two mother-in-laws who each have added much to my life. I think about how each of these women has
influenced me and I am grateful for the memories I have.
On
Mother’s Day I also think of my own children and say a quick prayer of
gratitude that they have been part of my life.
I cannot imagine who I would be without the joys and sorrows that have
come because of them. They have had a
profound effect on my ability to find joy and to live a fuller, richer
life. They helped me overcome fear. I have been so blessed.
Mark is
the father of my children and the man who shares my heart and my life. I wish he could be here to share this special
day with me, but far away in Ukraine, he is going through the experiences I
long to share. He e-mailed me today and
told me to buy flowers for myself on his behalf. He cannot manage this task in his remote
village, but he knows how much I love flowers.
Maybe he will meet me at the airport with a bouquet in a few days… 8-)
Eastern Market, Knit Shop, Time to myself…
Today
the sky is blue and the air is crisp – a beautiful day for an adventure. I am happily on my own.
I
did my homework and figured out how to Metro to the Eastern Market where
vendors spread their arts and crafts and the fruit, vegetable and flower
vendors entice everyone with their wares.
There are huge bundles of lilacs - the scent fills the air.
After
managing to keep my wallet in my pocket I found my way to a knitter’s paradise
and spent too much money on some yarn and needles. These toys will make a pleasant diversion for
me since I cannot seem to concentrate enough to write or study or even read a
book.
I
will be so far behind in my Russian studies.
I did get a chance to practice on a vendor at the market today. I also tuned into the Russian TV channel and
watched a strange sort of fantasy movie where the entire dialog was Russian.
No More Room Mate …
My
room mate moved out last night. The gift
of privacy and quiet is invaluable. I
appreciate this unexpected gift of time and space to relax and recover from my
surgery.
After
an early take out dinner last night, Nurse Jim advised me to call it a
night. Since my day started long before
dawn and involved a significant assault on my body, I agreed with his
idea. He departed and I settled in for
the night.
Jim
left just after breakfast this morning so he can make it home in time for a
movie airing on TV tonight.
Under the Knife at
I
am home from the hospital and feeling a bit tender and sore, but this pain
means I am one step closer to going home to my husband and our life in
The
staff at
The
procedure itself was a blur since I was under anesthesia. When I opened my eyes I felt refreshed. I had dreams about being under a beautiful
blue and yellow quilt in an airy, bright room.
I could hear the medical staff talking, but it was as though I was
somewhere else. I even dreamed about the
Mediterranean beaches…a little vacation during the surgery!
Jim
stopped enroute to my hotel-home so I could reward myself with a Grande Latte
from the neighborhood Starbucks. Between
the after effects of the anesthesia and the caffeine and sugar in my double
shot espresso drink, I really was feeling light-headed.
Tomorrow
I will call my doctor and set up a follow-up appointment for next week. If all goes well, I hope I can wing my way
home next weekend. Somehow though I
think my return may be delayed due to the bureaucratic nature of things.
Today
is Cinco de Mayo. Friend Jim and I plan
to dine on Mexican food this evening. I
guess I will have to forgo the traditional margaritas tonight.
With
most of the medical details behind me, I look forward to some fun next
week. I plan to visit the Eastern Market
this weekend. Also under consideration
are visits to the DC zoo…I love animals and seldom miss a chance to observe
them. I would love to visit the NPR
studios and of course the Smithsonian appeals to me as well as the Natural
History Museum. I would also like to
ferret out some local resale/thrift shops to find some good quality work
clothes. But most of all I would like
to hear the appropriate authorities say “Pack your bags and head back to
Today
I had some much-needed down time.
Nothing on the agenda really… a real break…
Mark
Called before I am even out of bed – what a wonderful way to wake up. We only speak for a few minutes since it is
very pricey to call from
I
am sorry to miss my one-on-one interview with our wonderful Country
Director. I had looked forward to a
chance to get acquainted…He seems like an amazing individual. He has quite a reputation as a leader and
motivator. He is also very personable
and clearly loves his job!
Friend
Jim arrives to play nurse and chauffeur for me tomorrow when I go under the
knife. What a good friend he is. I am so blessed with friends and family and
people who show how much they care!
I
do count my blessings.
Today
I had an OB/GYN visit – the doctor did a biopsy on a small lesion. Not too bad, but when the local wore off I
knew I had a couple stitches there.
Yikes!
I
spent a little time at a big bookstore and picked up a couple gift items and
some Russian grammar books.
The
telephone keeps ringing and I talk to many friends and family – no time to get
lonely or restless!
Hmmm,
my favorite old jeans seem to have shrunk – they are too short to wear now…must
have been the dryer in the suburbs.
Sigh…
My
roommate has guests too so the suite is often full of people.
I
awoke at the home of Janeen’s friends in the suburbs south of my temporary home
in DC. They had thoughtfully washed my
few clothes for me.
I
am eager to get back to the hotel and relax a bit. I seem to need down time alone more than some
people do. I have enjoyed the visit, but
I do feel over-extended since it has been go, go, go since I arrived
stateside. It is good to have friends
and family taking care of me and being so supportive.
I
downed a wonderful breakfast and then had the chance to visit the local Target
store for a quick look at some much-needed clothes. Unfortunately I did not find anything there –
I am wearing size 4 clothes now and they are even ill-fitting. I did find a pair of great jeans at the local
Sears (they fit well and cost only $5 – a perk of wearing an odd size!) and I
bought a Lands End blouse too. Now I can
change clothes a bi more often and since I may be in DC a while, this is
becoming more important.
I
finally make it home late in the day and am glad to collapse into bed. I am dreaming away the night when Janeen
boards a military HOP and flies via Lear Jet back to her Midwestern home. It was great to see her!
The
After a delightful
breakfast we piled into the car and headed south.
Destination:
Chincoteague
Purpose:
Visit the famed Chincoteague Ponies
Legend
says these diminutive wild ponies are descendents of mustangs being transported
in a 16th century galleon that crashed during a fateful storm. The brave horses swam ashore and for 300
years have continued to live on the island.
Marguerite Henry's children's book, Misty of Chincoteague
is a good read for horse-loving readers.
Chincoteague Pony site:
http://www.imh.org/imh/bw/chinco.html
Sister
Janeen and friends planned a picnic on the beach and we had a delightful day
wandering around on this Outer Banks Island about 4 hours south of the DC
area.
The
horses are amazing – fat and small. I
would love to see the cowboy events in July when the horses swim to shore.
We
returned home late at night and I saw many deer along the roads. After a late night stop for pizza (where all
the folks over 60 were actually carded when they ordered beer!) we headed back
to our host and hostess’ house for a good night’s sleep.
I
must admit, I had a little problem with all the dolls staring at me. Janeen’s friends have a large collection (hundreds
and hundreds!) of stuffed bears and dolls.
I love the stuffies, but the dolls make me a bit uncomfortable. Scary…