Dog walks, AC & home improvements…
The gray skies,
muggy weather, and threats of rain made me move faster. I was eager to be done with the morning walk
and return to the comforts of home: air conditioning and a cup of coffee top
the list at this time of day. Miss Zoë
trotted along at a good pace and was not prone to linger either. I am ensconced in my chair under the ceiling
fan in the TV room and Miss Z has heaved a doggie sigh and is snoozing on the
loft behind me, dreaming doggie dreams no doubt.
This week our snow
princess claimed the loft that Mark built in the TV room several weeks
ago. This unique furniture item spans
one wall of the room and is comprised of a desk (for sewing), three
bookshelves, a sleeping/lounging platform with storage underneath and a
staircase to make access easier to the top.
Early the other
morning I headed down the hall past the TV room and caught a glimpse of Miss
Zoë curled up in a deep sleep on the loft platform. Since then she has adopted it as her space
and casually ascends and descends at will now.
When this
wolf-like creature stands up on the platform, stretches her trim body and
stands regally surveying the room with her steely blue eyes, it is a bit
disconcerting, maybe even a bit threatening, to those of us seated below! I momentarily flash back to novels such as Call of the Wild. I half expect her to throw back her head,
howl like a wolf and then leap off the platform to attack. I feel as though I have a wild animal in my
presence. I wonder if she has similar
thoughts.
Miss Zoë has
decided to work out a bit too, or so it seems.
Last night Miss Zoë discovered my small weights, which actually do
resemble a high tech bone of some sort.
I use these 3 and 5 pound barbells to do a series of repetitions when I
watch TV.
Usually the
weights live on the windowsill where they are out of the way, yet easily
available for me to use should the spirit move me. Yesterday I left them on the floor near the
dog’s bed. Later I looked up to see my
Siberian headed toward the hallway with a purple barbell in her mouth! Maybe she felt the need to do a little
toning.
Remembering Dad, dealing with diabetes
& losing all my files…
Today is the
anniversary of my father’s birth. I
think of him often these days. Memorial Day and the 60th anniversary
of D-Day in particular make me think of him.
Memorial Day
always belonged to Dad. He took so much
pleasure in orchestrating the color guard and taking care of various functions
pertaining to the days events in Le Mars.
There was always a wonderful parade followed by ceremonies at the
cemeteries and in later years the drama of the Avenue of Flags on the
courthouse lawn.
Dad was a WWII
veteran and was instrumental in establishing the Army National Guard in town so
he had many roles to play in coordinating the events.
This year, in
I cannot think of
my father’s birthday without remembering his delight when it looked like his
granddaughter Moriah would actually share the same birthday. Moriah started her arrival preparations in
the late afternoon on a hot, sunny Sunday in the kitchen at my parent’s home in
Le Mars.
Mark was home on
leave from
It was Dad’s
birthday so there must have been cake and ice cream earlier but what I remember
is standing at the kitchen counter scooping melon balls from a ripe, red, juicy
watermelon. I gradually realized the
initial stages of labor and by
I recently found
of wonderful photograph of Dad holding Moriah in his arms. It is a black and white image of a happy
grandfather gazing proudly at his cherished grandchild. It captured a moment to remember. I mailed that photo to my daughter so she can
see in his eyes the love he had for her, right from the start.
This has been a
challenging week. Mark’s diabetes
diagnosis will no doubt delay our Peace Corps timeline and most likely will
restrict our assignment opportunities. I
am eager to move forward, but there is no way to expedite the treatment. We will not have any definitive answers on
these things for quite some time so we get to practice living with
ambiguity. The positive take on that is
that I have the opportunity to practice living in the present…Zen….
The doctor’s
appointment was anticlimactic since we merely listened as the doctor reviewed
Mark’s lab results indicating diabetes blood sugar levels in excess of three
times normal!). He indicated that a
nutritionist and diabetics educator would contact us
soon. He also advised Mark to lose about
40 pounds immediately.
Mark lost about 30
pounds last year and was surprised to learn that he was still considered
“obese” on body mass indicator charts.
Diet and exercise for now. Once
he reaches the target weight he may be placed on medication, if necessary.
The doctor told us
about his own life style changes. He
lost about 40 pounds himself by reducing portion sizes. I was surprised when he shared examples of
his daily menu: Breakfast was an English muffin with margarine and a bit of
marmalade; juice, and three times a week, a boiled egg. He lunches on a small packet of crackers and
a diet cola. Dinner is a small serving
of rice or potatoes, 4 ounces of skinless, broiled chicken, and lots of
veggies. No deserts. No snacks.
He may be at the
proper weight, but his lunch choices don’t conform to most of the advice one
hears!
The bigger
challenge I am facing this week is the loss of all my computer files. I am filled with some anger, but there is no
where to direct it. I am grieving the
loss of so many meaningful items: all my journal entries, my writing, stored letters
from family and friends, photographs, collections of data for various
projects…all gone. I am having a hard
time letting go of this melancholy…
I am grateful for
friends and family who have e-mailed notes and called me to talk about
this. I am taking it hard and I almost
feel like I am choosing to take it hard.
I am sure this is tied in with some delayed grief about other losses and
changes in my life (job changes, deaths, moves, Mark’s health…) and I guess
there are some control issues too.
I feel as though a person has died and I am at
a loss as to where to direct my feelings… I am generally resilient. I will be fine, but what if I’m not? I am soooo
tired.
PS (This is
extracted from an e-mail to family)
Mark's lab results
indicate his blood sugar is three times normal levels and other indicators
support a diagnosis of diabetes, type II.
Mark's not really ready to share this yet, (but he has spoken to Moriah
and I have spoken to my sister and a couple friends.... He/We haven't met with the nutritionist or
educators yet, but the doctor said Mark needs to lose about 40 pounds. The first step is to manage things through
diet and exercise. Of course Russ ad
The doctor left
the diagnosis on our answering machine on the Friday before Memorial Day so we
could not speak to anyone at the hospital to determine what the ramifications were...sigh....We
did see the doctor on Thursday, but he really only went over test results. The nutritionist will call us...We go to
Mark's doing OK
with the idea actually. He immediately
eliminated sugar from his diet (which takes some vigilance) and is reading labels
to determine carbohydrate exchanges, etc.
He also tuned up his bike and we rode a few times. He's riding it to work now. We also stepped up the dog walk pace a
notch. He is monitoring serving sizes
and using information from websites run by diabetic professionals.
We'll see the
doctor again Thursday to resume our Peace Corps physicals...This should only
delay our opportunity and may limit where we can serve. We can't submit the medical package until we
have our dental stuff done too.
This month I have
four appointments and I also have to get my TB test and of course if the doctor
finds anything on Thursday, I may have additional visits. After we submit our packages the timeline
continues to drag (partly because we told them we are not available till after
December and they handle processing based on potential shipping dates) with a
wait of 3-10 weeks. Sooooo...
Eliminating sugar
seems to agree with Mark - he's sleeping through the night really well...I'm in
the game too...
So, the dance with
diabetes begins...if we actually start dancing, maybe we can slow the monster
down!
The diabetes scare…
The start of a new
month and a new week…Yes it is Tuesday, but yesterday was Memorial Day. I feel energized in many ways and also
frustrated. It seems like everything has
become work. Mark reformatted my computer so of course things are missing,
programs have changed, etc. There is
some frustration associated with that.
The small annoyances and delays take a toll when they reach a cumulative
level.
Today the to-do
list dominates my thoughts. Actually
Mark’s news keeps surfacing in my mind.
I made an appointment for Mark for Thursday at
A few years ago a
teacher at Emerald died of complications with diabetes following a dental
appointment. He died over the Christmas
holidays and was not discovered until school resumed and he was not there to
teach classes. It appears,
he had gone home from the dentist’s office, crawled into bed and never woke
up.
I am distancing
myself from this topic I guess. I am
concerned and saddened, but not ready to put down on paper what is on my
mind.
Tasks to
accomplish: mail Moriah’s birthday box, call Wal-Mart
about empty boxes (for packing), call Charleston Passenger Terminal for flight
schedules (HOP to Reno in July), wash and hang laundry, clean refrigerator,
sort and organize Vogel’s photos…nope…I seem incapable of even making a good
list today…No writing…just do.