·        Thursday, 23 July 2009

I feel un-moored.  I feel like a boat with no captain.  I feel as though I am walking, with no destination.  Where is the map?

 

I think what I really feel is a form of homesickness. 

 

How can that be?  My home is here.  I have no place to go back to really.  The family home was sold a few years ago and my parents are gone.

 

In the small moments I find beauty and joy, but there is a restlessness that makes me uncomfortable.  It has been just below the surface for several days.  It makes me want to do something…take action, but I cannot fathom what that action might be.

 

Somehow I want to stay in one place, become part of a tribe, part of a larger purpose, but how, where?

 

Things I once found joy in escape me…distractions are simply that, distractions. 

 

I am tired.

 

I need a map, a goal, a dream, a path.  Where are the yellow arrows? (Yellow arrows on the Camino keep the pilgrims going in the right direction)

 

·        Wednesday, 22 July 2009

 

 

·        Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Wading into the Future – Or is Plunging in Better?

As I walked Miss Zia this morning, I reflected on the past year and contemplated the future.  So many interesting opportunities and ideas dance through my mind. 

 

This past year I took some risks.  There were three major things I wanted to do this year which required significant time off…some of life’s adventures just cannot fit into the constraints of a 9-5 job or the 2-week vacation allotted to most employees here in the USA.  (I wanted to take 6-weeks to walk the 500 mile Camino from Roncesvalles to Santiago de Compostela; I wanted to attend my in-laws week-long 50th anniversary celebration in the Black Hills of SD; and I wanted to participate in building the Rose Bowl Parade float sponsored by the Organ Donor organization.)

 

I committed to these events (and a few others) and I took the leap! 

 

I plunged into the cold stream of life and came up swimming and laughing. 

 

And now I am refreshed and ready to move forward on something new.

 

I am happy.  I am engaged in life.  I am learning and growing and finding joy and abundance in unexpected ways and places.

 

Today marks a transition to a new year; an advent to a new year anyway.   Today Mark ends his AmeriCorps/Habitat responsibilities.  Like me, he will no longer have the security (or the chains) of a 9-5 role.  (At least for a while.)

 

For the next ten weeks we embark on a couple projects (contracts).  We will collaborate on writing and producing a video and I will undertake what is essentially a training project (developing a position description; refining the tasks related to it; establishing training standards and cataloging the information in a useful tool for management and employees).  He will find ways to use his technology skills and develop some private clients (ideally on retainer as a consultant, troubleshooter and advisor) as well as to continue work with non-profits.

 

When autumn arrives (October), I will no doubt be behind a desk at the New Mexico Coalition for Literacy again.  Among other things, I will be developing a recruiting strategy and implementation plan.  (I will be funded as a member of   AmeriCorps*VISTA – FYI: VISTA stands for Volunteers in Service to America.)  This comes as a surprise to me – but the opportunity unfolded in an unexpected way and is one of those surprises that really blesses all – the economic stimulus money and a series of other events make this decision seem Divine.)   

 

In the meantime, Mark and I will work from home.  It will be pleasant to have the opportunity to orchestrate our own time; a new experience for us. 

 

Life unfolds and offers us more gifts than we can imagine.  I am so grateful for the gifts we receive.

 

·        Monday, 20 July 2009

Morning Pages

Ahhhhh…my morning pages. What has become of this beautiful, satisfying ritual? 

 

I used to rise early and spend some time at my keyboard before the concerns of the day discovered me.  I could tap away a while, sorting through my own thoughts as the sun creeped up and poked through the curtains; before the morning coffee or the dog-walk or the chatter from my favorite folks on NPR.  And before my sweet spouse climbed out of bed to capture my attention. 

 

For soooo long now, I have missed those delicious morning moments. 

 

There is pleasure in the simple act of just tapping away at the keyboard, letting my thoughts dance about randomly to a tune of my own making.  I am better for it.  I face the day grounded and able to see the good beyond the misty, mortal illusions.

 

Carving out that hour is essential.

 

 

 

 

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ab

TO READ OLDER ENTRIES,

RETURN TO THE ARCHIVES ON THE LEFT

 

Our Peace Corps (Ukraine) adventures:

January 2005 - May 2007

 

Our AmeriCorps*VISTA  (Santa Fe, NM) adventures:

August 2007 – November 2008

 

My Santiago de Compostela Camino  (Spain) adventures:

20 April -1 June 2009

 

Blog: http://pilgrimageofgratitude-mycamino.blogspot.com

 

Find my Facebook Page & Picasa Albums too:

Virginia J. Pulver

 

 

Life is good!

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