Minneapolis/St
Paul – wonderful cities! Saturday I had
the opportunity for a windshield tour of many beautiful neighborhoods. The weather was bright and warm so the
streets were filled with people, pets and vehicles.
The cities are
blessed with several large lakes and on a fine July day, each resembles a
painting with sailboats dancing on the deep blue waters. On the paths at lake’s edge people walk, jog
and ride bikes or skate. Well behaved
pets and children make people smile.
The cafes and
neighborhood stores are crowded with people enjoying the day. There are yard sales and I would willingly
stop at each and every one. My
“chauffeur” is eager to show me mare of the city so we do not stop (except once
when I utter “Stop!” – Carol almost crunches the car as she screeches to a halt
and pulls over so I can indulge in a quick garage sale stop.
Carol is quite
familiar with many of the neighborhoods since she spent some of her youth
singing with bands and living in these areas.
I look longingly out the window and imagine myself making a home here in
this delightful urban paradise.
I like to walk to
places so libraries and coffee shops in proximity to a cozy home (an apartment,
bungalow or a loft) suits me well. Over
the years Mark and I have always enjoyed the joys of having a park near our
home. I would love the luxury of being
able to walk to church too. The natural
beauty of the lakes and the four strong seasons here add to the beauty of this
daydream.
On the
The day ends
somewhat abruptly when the car decides to take a nap. It just stops and we pray while the car
glides closer to the curb and out of the traffic. Carol says “vapor lock” and suggests we take a short walk to a
convenience store, conveniently located across the street from the resting car. We snack on some junk food and chat with the
friendly clerk for a few minutes and then return to the car. Carol inserts the key and the car cranks
right up. We take a direct path home,
and soon are safe and sound in the ‘burbs, parked in the garage and done for
the day.
We settle in with
pizza and watch home decorating shows until after
Procrastinating …
Here I am in an
affluent suburb in the Minneapolis/St Paul area, perched on the edge of the
couch, laptop balanced on my knees. The
television is droning away, a talk-show host solving the problems of the world
– television, the soundtrack for life in
I have “lived”
here a few days and already I feel much like a high school student does as
summer drags on: I have a love-hate feeling about my summer vacation. After over a month in a hotel in DC and six
weeks at a horse farm in
I left Ukraine the
last week in April and assumed I would be back to my Peace Corps job in just a
matter of weeks, but here I am three months later still stateside.
There are big
things on my agenda really, but like the teenager I feel like, I am
procrastinating. I must get a close of
service physical so Peace Corps will know I do not harbor any medical or dental
complications. This involves contacting
a local physician and arranging for an examination and some lab work. Oh boy – stool samples X 3 and pap smears,
etc!
Worse than the
actual physical, for me anyway, is the ordeal of making the appointment. I despise using the telephone to coordinate
anything. This challenge is compounded
because I do not know the physician since I m merely a house guest and
unfamiliar with any medical professionals here in MSP area. Another challenge of this real life survival
game is that the insurance documents that guarantee payment for this exam
actually expire in about a week…yep, I failed to realize the exam had to be
accomplished within 60 days of my close of service. I thought I had 6 months. So here I am in a time crunch.
My host will
provide me a couple names and numbers and I will make the calls tomorrow.
My mind is jumping
ahead, working on the to-do list that is taking shape there, instead of staying
here in the present. The impending change of location (August in
Old family friend/current
house-sitter Jim has wanted to make a surprise visit to a mutual Air Force
buddy who makes his home near
Saturday morning
we got into Jim’s truck and began the adventure. Jim actually spent several years in
After a warm hug
and lots of laughter, we were invited into the house. It is a delightful home, crammed with
wonderful primitives, memorabilia, lush plants, several cats and a couple large
dogs. The house itself is a piece of
American history. It is one of those
owner built homes from our pioneer years.
The original cabin comprises the livingroom now. It is like stepping back in time and I was
inclined to linger there and investigate.
We moved to the comfortable dining room and sipped hot coffee around the
ample table, swapping stories, petting the dogs and just relaxing. Eventually we had dinner and talked some more
and finally called it a night, an let them get a little sleep (they routinely
rise at
Sunday my
sister-in-law and her husband drove down from
Jim is so ready to
get himself a bird so we spent lots of time watching him watch the conures and
parrots and macaws. It is only a matter
of time.
After a day in the
hot
Instead of
trekking back to
It was a
successful adventure.
Monday evening my
host (Pat) fried up some wonderful trout and served up slices of homegrown tomatoes
and mozzarella drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with basil.
One of the hens
was loose in the yard so after dinner we went out to see if we could find where
she was roosting and capture her.
Years ago, when I
was an avionics technician hard at work troubleshooting the complex electronics
systems that permit fighter aircraft to function effectively, I would sometimes
think “What would Mr. Bohan say about me now?”
Mr. Bohan was the
handsome science teacher that influenced many aspects of my life, in ways he
would never imagine. I am sure he also
motivated many other students from that small town in
Before I get to
the point of this rambling discourse, I want to explain that I was not a gifted
science student and I definitely was challenged by math. In later years I determined that my problems
really did not stem from lack of ability, but really seem to be ore about my
own particular learning style. I wish I
had understood this all those years ago.
As the less than
stellar science and math student that I was back then, it came as no surprise
when Mr. Bohan recommended that I think twice about enrolling in a summer
course in electronics. It was admittedly
a course usually taken by boys, so perhaps Mr. Bohan questioned my
motives. In those less enlightened
times, girls did not take these kinds of courses. I must admit, my feelings were hurt when I
heard his suggestion that I take a different course, perhaps one that did not
require math and science skills.
Despite his
recommendation, my mother encouraged me to enroll and I took that course. Years later when I took the entrance exam for
the US Air Force I scored near the top of the spectrum in several areas,
including electronics. I went through
intense training and scored most of the core curriculum credits necessary for
an associates degree in electronic engineering.
I went on to spend several rewarding years as a dedicated technician and
felt considerable pride knowing the US Air Force trusted me to maintain these
multi-million dollar aircraft.
I thought of Mr.
Bohan often…”If he could see me now!”
Teachers influence
us in ways they cannot even imagine. In
this case, a teacher usually noted for being a positive influence managed to
enrich my life by putting me in the position to prove myself. I always wish I could have talked with him
about the outcome of his simple recommendation.
Miss Johnson, the
home economics teacher, was a fixture at Le Mars Community High School long
before I began my student years there. (In
fact, she died during my tenure following a terrible accident involving an
exploding pressure cooker.) She was a
dedicated teacher with a strong personality.
I can almost see her perched on her tall instructor stool, leaning
forward a bit supporting her matronly form on her short plump arms that rested
on her indelicately spread knees. She
would stop her lecture, look at us over the tops of her eyeglasses and raise her
voice to announce, “You girls better
listen up! I do not chew my cabbage
twice!”
Despite her strong
personality and her matronly ways, she was an effective teacher right up to the
end of her life. I thought about her
recently when I was undergoing a breast exam.
(I had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer while serving in the
Peace Corps in
“The first time I
heard about breast self-examinations was in home economics class in high school
back in 1969 or 1970,” I remarked as my physician went about the business of
feeling my breast.
My teacher, Miss
Johnson, asked for a volunteer to help her demonstrate a technique we needed to
learn. I was fully clothed for this
demonstration, but I remember stretching out on my back on a table at the front
of the classroom with my left hand tucked behind my head. I was so self conscious, as only a high
school girl can be.
Miss Johnson spoke
to the class and discussed how and when to do this exam. She never touched my body, but simply talked
me through the steps.
Years later I
found the lump in my breast through self examination. I caught the cancer early. The surgery is behind me and the cancer risk
is about 2%.
Thank you Miss
Johnson, wherever you are.
I think f my fifth
grade social studies and reading teacher very often. In many ways, I have become her. I can conjure up her face so easily. She had steely grey hair which she wore in a
simple ponytail at the nape of her neck.
She wore amazing, large hoop earrings, in an era when “respectable”
women did not wear pierced earrings and certainly not hoops. She exuded the aura of a traveler, one who
had real adventures and one who lived a full life.
Mrs. Stensrud, I
would love to speak to you now and know more about you. How did you come to teaching? What was your life like before you came to
that tiny elementary school? Do you know
how much you effected people’s lives?
I was in her class
only a few hours each day, but I was most alive then. I loved reading and I loved her tales about
exotic places. There are no concrete
memories, rather this experience was more like osmosis. Somehow, by proximity, I absorbed her sense
of adventure and cultivated it for myself.
She helped me prepare the soil that would make my harvest richer.
I wish I had a
story to share about this woman, but she is more of a presence, a spirit….I
have to settle for that, but I know I am changed from having her in my life.
Six Weeks Since Surgery…
It has been six
weeks since I was wheeled into the operating room at
This farm has been
a good place to heal.
I thought about
this as I wandered into the barn this morning.
Wrapped up in thought, I barely heard the mewing sound of tiny
kittens. It took only a moment to locate
the new mother and her three little kittens.
Proud Mama was stretched out and the three tiny kits were treating her
like a smorgasbord. When Mama saw me,
she stopped grooming the babies and kept her steely-blue eyes on me. I realized I was making her uncomfortable so
I backed out of her view and left the little family alone.
I stepped into the
feed room and scooped out some cat chow and before I could finish putting it in
the barn cat dish, Mama was there eating and eating and eating. Of course giving birth and feeding a family
is hungry work and this young mother cat, barely more than a kitten herself, is
very slim. She kept looking over her
shoulder as she ate, obviously concerned about the status of her babies.
I left the barn to
the cats and horses and walked over to the kitchen garden where the tomato
plants look like Christmas trees decorated in large red bulbs. I twisted off the ripe fruit and breathed in
that wonderful fresh-tomato smell.
Tonight there will be fresh tomatoes with mozzarella and olive oil and a
few herbs. I will open the white wine
friend Kathy brought home from her adventures in
The horses race
around in the cool morning hours and nay and whiny to one another. They throw their heads back and then break
into a gallop, kicking up dust and attracting my attention. They seem happy to be alive.
Before I head
indoors to get a cup of coffee and begin my day, I pause and spend some time
with Miss Zoë Mae. She leans against my
leg and nuzzles me while I scratch behind her ears. I watch a small frog hop, hop, hop across the
carport floor and I hear the rooster crowing nearby. A slight breeze makes the wind chimes sing
and lifts the hair on the back of my neck, cooling me down a bit.
In the early
morning hours, a summer day on a
Tee Hee Hee Tea, a Comfy Cow and Remembering
It isn’t my
birthday, but it is a day of surprise gifts!
I was at my
computer taping away and whiling away the morning as I waited for my friend
Kathy to arrive. She was wending her way
down the back roads from near the NC border to spend the day with me here in
(I really
appreciate the fact that Kathy almost always has the top down on her
convertible. She knows how to live! Too many people just never find the joy in
their lives – they keep the top up and turn on the AC instead of feeling the
wind blowing their hair.)
I hear the door
open and am surprised to see Marty standing there. Normally she would be hard at work at the
Army post, but today she took a sick day – she is sick over the deceitful
behavior of a colleague. She has to make
several unpleasant phone calls (including the sheriff) and she will have to
post signs on her property and install several locks. Before she begins her list of unpleasant
chores, she spends a few moments chatting with me and hands me a big envelope
addressed to me
I tear open the
big yellow envelope and pull out a lean, lanky stuffed cow. On the heifer’s chest is a sticker that says
“press here”. I press and I here a long,
low “moooooooooooooo”. I laugh and then
begin to look at the enclosed papers.
Among other things, my thoughtful (and very playful) oldest sister has
included newsletters from our high school alumni association.
I poured some
coffee and proceeded to read through these very well written newsletters. My high school years are long gone, but in a
small community, the family names are familiar and I find many bits and pieces
of information of interest to me. I
consider submitting an article about my brother and his life in
Kathy arrives
while I am still engrossed in reading vignettes about people I knew a lifetime
ago (one friend now is a free-lance trumpet player in
We settled down to
talk. I spill my stories about being medievaced out of
We shift gears and
I hear about
Later Marty joins
us for a late lunch at a local Mexican restaurant where I share my tales about
life in
The afternoon was
delightful. Later on, back at the farm,
another package arrives and it is for me.
My hostess has ordered a foolish gift for me. I tear open the box, like a little girl at a
birthday party and pull out a can of “Bag Ladies Tea” The Label shows a women reading a book titled
“Yes Virginia There is a Breast Fairy” as she waits outside the door that says “Mammography Exams”. There is a Breast Fairy fluttering
around. The tea is called “In the Pink”
and has a breast cancer survivor symbol on the front. Each tea bag sports a witty tag saying such
things as “Breast Assured we will be cured” or “Your boobs will cheer up,”
etc. W laughed pretty hard at this
foolishness.
I brewed myself a
bit of tea and it was the fitting end to a lovely day.
Where’s Marty? …
At
Usually Marty feds
here animals and does the chores right after she finishes her day job at the
Army post, but she often stays late taking care of unexpected problems. There are often unexpected problems. That is the nature of horse-ownership and
when you have 50-plus animals, there are many opportunities for unexpected
problems.
Pat came back
fairly soon and explained that Marty would spend the night there. She tried to call, the phone did not
work. Why stay at the other farm? Someone came on her remises and took several
hundred dollars worth of horse gear.
Marty decided to stay the night and worked on securing things and
developing a plan to deal with the theft.
Fiddler on the Roof…
A classic film
written by a Ukrainian (their version of Mark Twain, o so the websites
say). We whiled away this Sunday
afternoon watching the DVD and singing along – should have sipped some vodka
too, since that is the traditional Ukrainian drink.
MacKenzie is Born…
Congratulations to
Dustin & Tiffany…their parenthood adventure really begins now!
Here I am on a
horse farm in rural
I seldom leave the
confines of the farm. I really have no
urge to leave. These days I feel like a
butterfly in a protective cocoon. I am
protected from the miasma – the fears and drama that seem to be the business of
the world.
Five weeks ago I
was awaking from surgery. The mastectomy
and reconstructive surgery was over. My
heart and lungs resumed their jobs. The
long work of recovery began and continues each day. The havoc wrecked on my body is still evident
and I do not go long without recalling the situation that tries to define me.
It amazes me how
events try to define a person.
In my heart, I
know I am not a mere mortal or a cancer survivor or a grieving mother or even a
former Peace Corps Volunteer or an Air Force veteran, wife, mother,
grandmother… I refuse to accept these limiting concepts of who I am and what my
life is about.
Instead, I find
myself grateful for being a spiritual being, transcendent and aware of all the
beauty and possibility around me. I can
never go back to such limiting definitions of who I am ad how I shall
live.
The truth is, the
only way to live is with gratitude and joy knowing I am the expression of all
right ideas…perfect and complete. The
truth I learned as a child in Christian Science Sunday School still resonates
and rings clear, despite what fading, finite senses might accept.
So, it is with joy
I live each hour. In those moments when
I find my thoughts obscured by fear or disquieting thoughts, I am able to
resolve the seeming conflict and move on to find the blessing. I have much to be grateful for and I am
grateful, alive, well and fit for the abundance that is my legacy.
This opportunity,
this forced vacation from what I think of as my life, is a time to hone my
weapons and examine my vision. In day to
day battle, we often seem to lose sight of the truth. Our vision seems clouded when life is filled
with all the diversions humans create.
The noise and confusion distract us.
A break in the action is good. A
break in the action is necessary.
There are many
ways to learn and test these lessons.
With each test, I move forward knowing more about the truth. Life is good.
Well today has been crazy - I wandered into the kitchen
this morning, thinking about coffee and feeding Miss Z. I glanced out the
window and saw that
Thank goodness I found him quickly - he was leaning over another fence
happily grooming Thor, a huge grey Percheron in another pasture.
I managed to lure Revere away with a bucket of oats...pretty scary because
when he smelled those oats he was eager to get at them and here I am trying to
avoid his mouth and get him to go into the barn...a learning curve...anyway, I
got him safely into the barn and locked him in a stall - this sounds a bit
easier than it actually was, but the horse is safe for now. I came back
inside, discovered my fir ant damage (they burn, itch and are just a real
pain) and called Marty with the news. Finally I sipped some coffee
and got dressed.
I spent some of the morning answering e-mail. With houseguests all
weekend I have not had time at my computer so I have many things to catch up on
and notes to get roughed out too. While I was typing I got a note from
Mark...he was sitting at a keyboard at the Internet Cafe in
It has been very hot here. I moved my computer and desk stuff in off
the porch I have been using as my "command post". I enjoyed the
view from there, but the heat and humidity won out - my computer would just
quit when the heat was high. Between humidity and phone lines, and
incompatible stuff, using technology is a challenge here, but I am sooooo very
grateful for this way to communicate with family and friends. Most days I
find some delightful e-mail surprises in my inbox...
Well, our Bubba cat is on some medications. It takes two people to
administer them so that was another challenge I mastered this morning.
I managed to single-handedly give Bubba his meds - not easy and messier
when there's only one human involved. He struggled a bit but swallowed it
down before he took off like a shot to hide under the upstairs bed. I
could not have managed this feat last week - I am getting stronger and having
less pain and swelling each day! Bubba is better too – a big appetite and
no fleas.
Once the cat meds were administered, I wanted to wash the nasty goop off my
hands (it looks like chocolate and smells dreadful). I turned on the tap
and discovered there is NOOOOOOO water in the pipes! I went
outside to investigate the pump and I can hear it running non-stop. This
is not a good thing.
There
was a problem last week when the horses damaged the pipes and caused a similar
problem - not fun and I do not look forward to the master of this house
arriving home to this dilemma! This is not a good time to be a house
guest! (This is Pat's first summer at this farm so fire ants,
fencing problems, air conditioning and water problems are coming as
surprises...) All these hot sweaty horses and humans need lots
of water this time of year.
I am half way through Amy Tan's latest book which is a collection of her
musings rather than a novel. She talks about her involvement with a rock
and roll band (The Rock Bottom Remainders) which is comprised of several other
writers including Steven King, Dave Berry, Barbara Kingsolver, that Blount guy
on NPR, and many others... I love to read during these dog days of summer…reading
is a delightful preoccupation - I wish I had a hammock here! 8-)