·        Wednesday, 9 September 2009 (Observation Apropos of Nothing: Today is 09/09/09)

I’m Back – I Think.

I have not written here since late July.  Nor have I opened up my Pilgrimage of Gratitude blog to finish transcribing my trip notes.  I have barely e-mailed nor written letters or used the phone.


Some people have suggested that I am simply processing the lessons of the Camino.  Perhaps.


A Brief Facebook Digression

Of course I am not entirely incommunicado – Facebook gives me a sweet, little window into the lives of friends and family (and some strangers) and also allows me to share random thoughts or little treasures of pathos, humor or foolishness found as I stroll along the Internet pathway.  (I would like to record some of my thoughts on social-networking – it seems to bring out some interesting responses to people.  I am somewhat troubled by those who do not seem to understand the value of these small social interactions.  The people who withdraw from Facebook, perhaps overwhelmed or afraid; but regardless of motivation seem compelled to disparage the whole system and the people who participate in it.  It seems to bring out a competitive, side-taking ugliness that makes me flash back to the pettiness of high school society.  In any case, I am not about to start a stream of consciousness flood on this subject, though this takes some discipline on my part.)  Frankly, I am grateful for the casual nature of Facebook – it is like the Jerry Springer series – based on nothing…the simple nothingness that comprises our lives and proves we are humans.  I am glad to read the status updates…but I love Proust and I loved walking 500 miles.  But I digress again… 


So, with the Facebook rant off the table (for now), let me see where else my fingers will take me this morning.


Dangers of Daily Dog Walks or Life Plans Unfold

One of the dangers of a long dog-walk is you have time to think.  Sometimes, inside my busy brain, I live whole lifetimes as I make my rounds with my three-legged canine friend tugging at the leash.    I am convinced in a life where people do not commit to daily dog walks they may not have too much time to be introspective – no time to mentally explore options they may never pursue. 


The nature of a quiet dog walk allows one to think outside the box – even destroy the box and create a whole new paradigm.  At least for the duration of the walk. 


Today, as I walked, I played with the future and found myself finishing up my VISTA year and, using the end of service stipend to head off to Malawi for a long visit with my brother.  (He will be 70 in 2010.  That is irrelevant; because we all know we are not mere mortals and are not subject to the mortal concepts of time and space and also because it is not what impels me to conjure up such a dream.)  The idea appeals to me.


The narrative in my head (ouch – that sounds a lot like voices in my head doesn’t it and those have “connotations don’t they!?  Let me continue with a slightly different phrase.)  Ahem.   So, the script continues with my return to the USA.  The scene opens on my sweet spouse at a cozy, modest home planted on some land adjacent to my sister’s home in my old hometown.  There are cats and a house dog, some chickens and a hammock.  Under there are several small cabins scattered among the trees in the grove. (Perhaps a B&B campground?) I am at my desk writing, yes finally telling some of the tales I wish to share.  As in a night dream, I am able to intuit details that are not evident in any overt way.  Perhaps I am writing the story of my brother’s life in Malawi or maybe a humorous version of my own life. 


The day dream played out as I walked across the desert behind my prancing pound-pup.  Where do ideas come from?  What triggers them?  And now I find myself still toying with this daydream.  What is my unconscious telling me? 


It is an odd little vignette.  Could these delusions/illusions/dreams/plans be an effect of the altitude here in the Land of Entrapment? Oops, I meant the Land of Enchantment…no really. 


I cannot seem to articulate this well, but I want to be among familiar people and places and use my energy in a new, more introverted way. 


For many years, I have been living with a steep learning curve – moving to new places, learning new languages, cultures and rules, taking on new roles – as if I have been climbing mountains for many years.  The vistas have been beautiful and the air is pure when you reach the top.  Now I seem to be ready to simply be.  I want to use my energies for something more private and personal – it may involve writing or perhaps it may just involve living a simple, rich life, a more linear life with time to ponder all the joy and opportunities that have been mine.


Maybe my life is like a field and just needs to lay fallow for a season.


I am grateful to have such a full, rich life.  I am excited about what may unfold in the future.  But I feel a change in my focus, a change in my energy and a change in how I relate to the world.


Time to stop journaling for the day. 


It feels good to be at the keyboard, synthesizing my thoughts a bit…and tomorrow there will be more post-dog-walk thoughts to explore.











Our Peace Corps (Ukraine) adventures:

January 2005 - May 2007


Our AmeriCorps*VISTA  (Santa Fe, NM) adventures:

August 2007 – November 2008


My Santiago de Compostela Camino  (Spain) adventures:

20 April -1 June 2009


Blog: http://pilgrimageofgratitude-mycamino.blogspot.com


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Virginia J. Pulver



Life is good!