June 2005

21st

 

Been a long time since I wrote here.  A lot has happened and I must make up for it.  I will start now and write as long as I can.

Obviously Virginia is out of the hospital and we are several days into her recovery.  She was released from the hospital on June 3rd and I took her back to the hotel to rest.  I think that we got the cab with the worst shocks in the city for the ride back to the hotel because it bounced us over every crack in the road.

Virginia was sore and got tired very easily.  We spent a quite day at the hotel and Saturday afternoon saw our good friend Jim at our door. 

Virginia, true to her nature, had a list of yard sales she wanted to go to as well as a market area she wanted to explore, however she was easily persuaded to stay at home and rest for the day.  Jim and I went out to a Chinese restaurant to pick up dinner and we sat in and just enjoyed the peace and quiet.

Sunday Virginia went for a short walk over to Iwo Jima to look around.  It was just two blocks away from the hotel and a cool quiet evening just right for a short walk.   I don’t remember anything happening on Monday except for Jim leaving for Greenwood.

Tuesday I went shopping for the afternoon and on my way back I decided to get off at Arlington Cemetery and walk back to Ft. Myers because I wanted to get something from the shoppette.  This took me on a long walk through the beautiful Arlington memorial site and I enjoyed the walk.  As I headed back to the hotel I went by the Iwo Jima site to find a crowd gathering and the place filled with Marines.  When I asked it turned out to be the opening night of a summer tradition as each Tuesday evening at 7 pm, the Marine Corps band and Silent Drill Team perform a concert and drill performance.  I had an hour to get Virginia back to the site and it was done.  We arrived moments before the program began and we had a very enjoyable evening outing.  The band is magnificent, it is the only active duty drum and Bugle core and they did shine.  Then the silent drill team marched out on the field bringing the American and Marine colors to the front.  The performance of precision and dedication to the craft was outstanding.  This is an active Marine unit and the members keep changing as the Corps requires so it is more amazing that they can maintain these standards through out the year. 

They did impress, and we had a great evening out. 

Wednesday was Virginia’s last official day in the Peace Corps and we spent the day talking to people about her options.  Some information we did not have yet but they were helping out more then they had to and we were able to keep all of Virginia’s appointments.  Virginia decided to hold a Peace Corps outing party in the hotel room so we had White wine and Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory in the room for all of the Peace Corps volunteers in the hotel.  We had about 20 show up but we had cake for 40 so there was more then enough for the remaining several days in the hotel.

Thursday saw us visiting all of her doctors to find out the results of the operation.

First to the Plastic Surgeon and she declared Virginia well on the road to success and removed the dreaded drains.  Then off to the Surgeon for the pathology report and a good report from her. 

Virginia is 100% free of Cancer.  The Peace Corps Doctor has stated for the record that Virginia is no longer to be considered anything more then someone recovering from Major surgery and that will allow her to re-apply for the Peace Corps in as little as three months should she so decide to. 

No Radiation and no Drugs.  Back to normal Mammograms and examinations.  That is the good news.

The offices of Peace Corps helped us out a lot and they were more then a little help.  We got to check out of the hotel on Saturday morning.  We rented a car to drive south and on the way out of town we stopped in Georgetown for, you guessed it, a community wide yard sale.  Picked up several good items and future Christmas presents and a little traveling music with B.B. King and Erick Clapton on the road.  We hit the highway and took three days to travel 500 miles.  It was a slow trip filled with good moments and nice conservation.  I think it was a very good vacation for us because we did not have to be anywhere and we took advantage of that.

We pulled into Greenwood Monday afternoon and spent several days with Jim in our house.  We went through some stuff and restocked our bags with items that we determined that we should have taken and stuff that Virginia will need during her recovery period.

Tuesday, we left Virginia alone and Jim and I drove down to Ft Gordon to get out Tri-care Prime back in force.  I was worried about that but I did not need to be.  I resigned her up and paid the fees for a year.  When I showed then the slip I was allowed to make an appointment the next day for Virginia.  It was great to find out that it was no harder then that. 

Wednesday Virginia and I drove down to Gordon for the appointment and there we encountered a little frustration.  To get the excess fluid drained from her back the surgery clinic needed to have copies of paperwork from George Washington Medical Center and Virginia’s Surgeon.  We called for them to be faxed and three days later when I left, they were still not there.  After several calls a day to each office we still had no results.  I failed to get Virginia completely settled and I hated that.

I did get Virginia set up on Net-Zero Accelerated so she could access the internet and her mail program but you can still use this address because she will not ever look at the one they provided.  I got her a cell phone on one of those pay as you go plans so it is not as good as a contract but she will be able to access calls while she is on the internet and I can text message her from here.  She can receive international text messages but not send them for some reason I cannot fathom.

I will be buying a phone and setting up an account as soon as I get to Kerch.

Saturday night I left for DC and the long drive back.  It was uneventful and I dropped the Rental car off as planned and arrived at the airport with time to spare.

Here I am in Kiev and I think I am over my Jet lag which for some reason hit me very hard this time, maybe the driving and the flying did it but I really crashed last night after I though I was over the worst of it.  I sat down to dinner and did not even get to order before I just blew out.  I walked back to the hotel and went to sleep for 14 hours.  Today I get to walk around the office and clean up the last bits of paperwork before heading out tomorrow for Kerch.  I will be there on Friday sometime after a 23 hour train ride.  Saturday I get to handle a ton of paperwork because Tuesday in Constitution Day so everyone is working Saturday to take Monday off.  I will reacquaint myself with Kerch and my host family and get settled in.  I guess that that is enough for now.  I will write more when I am in Kerch and have an internet account set up there.  I do not have a phone line in the apartment that I will be in at first but they say I have one in the apartment.  More later from the sunny black sea coast.

 

2nd

 

Ok, I did not get back yesterday because I got to spend the evening in the recovery room with Virginia and when I got home and made the phone calls, I fell asleep on the couch.  I updated this morning so today is fresh and new.

I sit here listening to Dr. Phil on the TV and watching my wife sleep near me.  She was sitting up when I got here kind of upset with the staff waking her up every hour last night and putting her in the chair at 8 and leaving her there.  She was connected to so many things that it was not possible for her to move.

Now, at 3pm they finally disconnected the last of the machines and IV’s so she got back in bed and is now sleeping.  I’m sure they will be in soon to do something else, I know that they are going to show me how to empty the drains soon and that will wake her up so I will let her sleep for now.

While I had her trapped in the chair I found a supplemental book that came with her Oprah Magazine called “What I know for sure” and I started reading it to her.  It was interesting to read because many of the thoughts are those we share.  They are written in Oprah’s words not mine but they have the same focus as ours.  The theme of the book as I have read it so far is “living your life as if this moment will be the last moment of your life”.  If you died tomorrow would you look back and be happy about how you spent your last day?  Live your life by deciding to be happy each and every moment.  Find out what makes you happy, what defines your happiness and decide what you need to do to achieve that happiness. 

The book talks about defining success, living a life of service and living your passion.  One line I like is “If you don’t know what your passion is. Realize that one reason for your existence on earth is to find it.”   “Real success means creating a life of meaning through service that fulfills your reason for being here.”  That is our life,   not in our words but it is our life.  Service to others makes our life worth living and that is why we are in the Peace Corps and that is why we will do a Peace Corps tour even if we have to do it on our own without benefit of Peace Corps, friends, or any other support.  Every job I have ever had was based on the question, “will I be happy doing this”.  I found out that I was able to make the job became what I wanted it to be, and not let the job define me.  Money was never a consideration in any choice of jobs, it was always the life I would lead.  Yes I work hard, I work long hours and I take work home, why? Because I love what I do and it does not interfiere with my life to do it.  If I take work home and do not get it done, so what, if I need to go home on time or even early, I’ll go.  My life is self made and I love it, I am so happy that I found Virginia, not only is she my best friend, but she feels about life just as I do. 

The biggest response I receive from our website or e-mails dwells on our inability to see reality.  We are always too optimistic, too positive, too willing to put on those rose colored glasses.

My answer to that comes in the form of a question, Why is “reality” defined in such a negative way?  Why do we have to live a life with any negativity in it at all?  What is wrong with having a positive outlook?  Yes “shit happens” but do I have to look for it?  We have chosen to live a positive life, with a positive outlook and it comes back to us in so many ways.  As I finished up training in Ukraine with Virginia back here, people I had not even spoken to, people from a foreign country, people who did not understand what we were saying most of the time, came up to me and spoke about the positive attitude we promoted, about the way we talked to each other and about the life we lived.  They made a point of asking about Virginia, they asked the other trainees about why we had not been around.  At the seminar I held for the local English teachers, the topic of how Virginia and I speak to each other became a topic of discussion, my host sister chimed it to explain that we were like that at home as well.  By living a positive life I can make a difference in how others live their life.  I can say it over and over again, but when I live it and others see it, it makes a difference in their lives.  A good missionary is one who lives the Christian life without preaching it, and a good teacher is one who can live the passion of their craft because the student will see that passion and be inspired by it.

I’m done for now

msp

1st

The First of June.  This day is one for the memories, memories that I do not want to build upon.  Virginia is upstairs prepped and ready to go.  They gave her some drug that immediately made her forget that I was there.  Let’s go back a little bit and talk about the last few days.

It has been a rollercoaster ride here.  It is a fun city to be trapped in but the reason is always in the way of true enjoyment.  Virginia is always tired but willing to do anything that she can and it looks like that will be the system for the next several weeks as she gets to recover.  This weekend she was determined to see as much of the memorial day festivities as she could.  We went down to the Reflecting Pool on Sunday and followed the long line of visitors through the Vietnam Memorial; It was very much different from the visit we made back in 94.  When we visited then it was a normal weekday so only a few people were in attendance and it was easy to linger over the wall and look at the things that people left.  Sunday was the day when everyone was in attendance because our visit coincided with the Rolling Thunder event.  You see a different memorial on days like that because of the visitors.  It was crowded and you felt a little rushed even though the rush was self imposed, no one pushed or shoved or asked you to move on.  The feeling was one of respect, respect for those on the wall as well as those in front of the wall.  Names were looked up, rubbings were made and photos were taken.  The trough on the bottom was filled with memorabilia, notes, pictures, medals, banners, and flowers.  There were Park Rangers every ten feet or so to assist with name location and they had ladders for those names that were too high to reach.  It was vastly moving for me to stand there and join the rest in respect for those that fought and died for us.  Whatever you think of the Vietnam war or of the military in general, you have to honor those who decided to defend their way of life. 

Military service is such a private choice that no one should criticize those who chose to serve.  Those who were drafted may be excused their feelings but today with the all-volunteer military, service is truly a choice that I feel should be offered to all, regardless of race, creed, age or sexual orientation. 

Enough of that, My family chose to serve as did my wife’s family and I am proud of each and every one that did.  Now we serve in a different way and I work with many people who do not feel as I do and it does not matter.  Life is what you make of it and it should be lived as you want to live it that is what our country is all about isn’t it?

After we walked around the Memorials we went out to the parade route to watch the procession of motorcycles roll past us as Rolling Thunder embarked on is umpteenth demonstration for POW’s/MIA’s.  We watched the iron roll past for three hours before we decided to get up and walk around the area.  The bikes continued to roll past for about an hour more as we looked at the stuff for sale and stared at the collection of Bikes that did not make it into the procession.  They said 300,000 bikes were there but that could not have included the bikes parked in the fields and parking lots around our area because I know that we saw about 20,000 bikes just parked where we were and they did not ride in the parade.  What I marvel at was the deportment of the crowd.  This was the most respectful gathering that I have ever been to, bar none.  There was no disrespect, no shoving, no yelling, and no swearing and if they drank it was not obvious.  I saw no intoxicated individuals or behavior.  For a gathering of that size made up of normal Americans, I was in awe. 

Monday morning we awoke and headed out for the national mall to watch the first national memorial day parade since WW2.  The announcer standing just down the road from us was Adrian Cronhour and we were treated to several marching bands, drill teams and Bolivian Dance groups.  The veterans in the parade included a 110 year old gentleman who fought in WW1, vets from every war and campaign since then.  Virginia was impressed with the Woman’s Air Service Pilots in the parade and every one was driven around in old cars and military vehicles. 

After the parade we walked through the Art Museum book store and had coffee in the Cascade Café underground between the east and west galleries.  The art book collection was very impressive and Virginia got a new book on working with colored pencils that she can work on during her recovery.

We strolled up the road to Union Station and looked at this marvelous building and enjoyed the stores and people.  Then we headed home.

This is a long Entry but if you look at it right it should be several days worth.

Yesterday day was prep day.  We got up and took the shuttle over to the Peace Corps Office so Virginia could get another Mammogram, blood work, and an EKG.  In Between we visited the office to update paperwork and rest a little.  After we went home Virginia let me talk her into heading out to Springfield Mall to get her a bathrobe for her hospital stay.  They have a target that you can get to from the metro and that was our destination.  I have to say that it was not the best choice I could have come up with.  The mall was empty of people and devoid of character, the shuttle bus stopped running back to the metro at 7:30 so we had to leave earlier then we wanted, the food selection was uninspiring and the visit was not as much fun as we had hoped.  With all of that in mind we at least found a robe that we both liked so the trip was successful.  When we headed back convince Virginia to take a small detour and head up to Clarendon stop to find a better selection of restaurants for her dinner.  She had to stop eating and drinking at midnight and it will be tomorrow morning before she will get any real food.  We chose a cute Vietnamese crab house with a very pretty patio and had an enjoyable meal.  We walked home and Virginia finished off the Ginger Snaps we have become addicted to since we found out that we both could eat them in moderation.

This morning we gingerly walked around the subject of the surgery as we prepared for the trip to the hospital.

And here I am back at the beginning.  Virginia has been inside about an hour now and the first doctor should be coming out to talk to me about the surgery soon.  The first surgery is the important one and it is suppose to take about an hour.  This is the mastectomy portion and this is where we find out how good they were at discovering the cancer and if they were right about the extent of the growth.  They determined that it was not in the lymph nodes and it would not grow and that this would be the end of it, I hope that they are right.  I expect to find out soon so cross your fingers with me.  I know that you will not be reading this until it is all over because I can not upload it until tonight but bear with me as I write because it is happening right now to me.   I will wander around a little and diverge from the story as things become clear to me but I will return to the thread soon.

I met Virginia’s main doctor today for the first time and she was a very pleasant lady.  She seemed to be a caring giving person who really wanted to help make Virginia feel good and get well.  I admit that I do not always feel that way about my visits to the medical community.

We have had several visits with the Reconstructive surgeon and every visit has been good, the receptionist was outstanding, I have really been impressed with her attitude and demeanor toward every patient she met with.  On the other hand, Virginia’s visit to the radiology service was not enjoyable.  The receptionist was curt, and gave the impression that she did not care about her customers at all, only their insurance forms.  I can not speak for the doctors because I stayed outside in the waiting area, but I listened to these women and the only time they sounded like real people was when they talked among themselves about what they did or were doing in their lives.  When ever they talked to a patient they went overboard to be disconnected from their lives and feelings.  It does not track well. 

I will stop right now until the doctor comes out because I am just rambling.  When the Doctor talks to me I will put it down here for all of you to see.

 

 

The doctor just came to see me.  Virginia is doing well; the first part of the surgery has gone well.  Every thing is gone and the doctor is feeling very good about the future. The pathology report will be available in a few days so we can not be sure until then but this doctor is ready for Virginia to get back to work as soon as possible.  Her comments are:  If Virginia had not had the reconstruction she would be cleared to rejoin the Peace Corps is just a few days, the outcome is that positive.  Since Virginia chose the reconstruction for the same operation her long term care will be improved but the short term will require a longer recovery.  The reconstruction surgeon will have the last say but it should be a 6 to 8 weeks for full recovery and then we can hit the Peace Corps up for their opinion on working for them.  No worries about that because it does not matter to me just how Virginia gets to be with me as long as it works out for her to be in my life.  She can be my live in full time Ukrainian housekeeper for as long as she wants to be. 

The Reconstruction is under way right now and that will be about 5 hours.  I am going to get something to eat and work on another photo page for the website.  I will write more as soon as I know more.

 

Mark