Hello, My name is ED and most people would consider me a common yellow duck of the rubber variety, but they would be wrong. While I can be visually associated with the common variety, inside I am far from common. I was born on a dark and stormy morning on the northern bank of the lake in New York’s Central Park, out of season and as unlikely as this may seem to you, I was a singleton. No other eggs were laid when I was and so my mother had no one else to occupy her time but me. She sang songs to me and told her adventure stories to my hardening shell. It was an experiment on her part as she had overheard several new mothers discussing this practice while they sat in the park. They were sure that by speaking to the unborn baby and singing songs, the baby would grow up to be a very special baby.

Mother’s experiment paid off very well on my part as I came out of the shell and spoke to her in both English and Spanish of the wonders she had spoken of. She had infused a sense of adventure in my soul when she spoke of the wonders to be found in the far off distant places she had spoken about. I assumed that she had visited all of those great wonders but I found to my great disappointment that she had only heard of them from the visitors to this great and wonderful park located in a very large and awe inspiring city. I decided then and there that I would not live a vicarious life such as she had, I would get out of this park and tour the world.

To that end I spent my formidable years learning Geography, Mathematics, Science, and History. I wanted to specialize in the study of Aerodynamics, but I was hampered by the entrance requirements for the college of AeroSpace Science. They have a requirement that you be of a certain height before they will teach you the secrets of flight and while I am a very determined fellow, I am also very short. I had to rely on book knowledge obtained from the public library and I fear that I did not learn enough current information as flying has never been the joy to me that I thought it would be.

In preparation for my expected journeys, I decided that I needed to learn a means of defending myself from attack or molestation by hungry predicators. Being of small size and weight I found the study of martial arts much to my liking, The dependence on balance and leverage appealed to my scientific mind and my size became an advantage instead of a liability. I hardened the leading edges of my wings by hitting boards, trees and rocks until they became as lethal as knives and made me feel ten feet tall as I strode through the park ignoring dogs and cats with impunity.

All of the work I did made flying harder as my wings got thicker and my body denser from the hard work I was putting in. I thought that the extra work on the wings would allow me to fly farther and longer then the rest of the ducks but I was wrong. Flying was hard work and I did not enjoy it at all. This was a matter of some concern to me as I was still determined to travel the world.

I needed a new way to travel.

While I still lived in the park I became a bully. I am not proud of this part of my history but I must tell it as it is very important to my current situation. I had developed the habit of chasing pigeons from the edge of the water and when I caught them I made them give me food and homage, I took on dogs and turned them into useful tools to carry me from place to place in the park as flying was so hard for me. I even controlled the cats in the park and protected my avian friends from their attacks. The cats got so they would not even visit the north side of the lake and every bird, rat, mouse and squirrel paid me homage and brought me treats from other parts of the park. Then it happened, I found a bigger bully then even I had become, and I lost my first fight. I almost lost my life.

I was feeling my oats and strutting through the park on my way to the lake for my morning bath when I came across a pair of large creatures I had not seen before. They were enormous with two towers leading to a cylinder in the sky that moved. This cylinder had two attachments that swung around and swayed in the breeze. I did not know what to think but I knew that I was not afraid. I decided that attack was the best way to handle this affront to my territory so I did. I gathered my breath, huffed a few times and charged, wings outstretched, leading edges poised to cut down the two towers. I hit the towers, and I bounced back. What happened? I was undefeated and unstoppable. Then I heard a loud noise and saw one of the towers move toward me very fast. The tower hit me and I felt my body lifting into the air and flying until I slammed into a tree. I hurt and I did not like it. I found my self unable to move and I saw the towers heading my way once again. For the first time in my life I was scared. I tried to get away from those towers and I could not move. The tower once again came at me and connected with the center of my body. I flew a long way deep into the forest and that is what kept me alive. I sfelt that the towers would come at me again so I looked around for a place to hide and at last I saw a bramble bush with a a small crawl hole at the base. I painfully dragged myself along the ground until I could pull my mangled body under the bush.

That was the last thing I remembered about my life in the park. When I awoke my life had changed entirely but I was alive. That part of my history I will tell you next time.

ED